If you had faith...

As most of you know, I am can be an unapologetic, raving rationalist.  It's a good life.  I'm not complaining.

I would, however, like to address the religious fundamentalists among my readers -- if, in fact, you could find a religious fundamentalist among my readers.

I invite the religious fundamentalists among my readers to have more faith.

I say this because I think that you believe we are all subject to God.  All of us.  That our destiny is pretermined and that no one can fight the will of God.  Awesome.  So, if that is true, maybe you should rest easy.  Eventually, all us crazy rationalists, and scientists, and thinkers will have to accept the resounding, unassailable truth that there is a God.  Eventually, we will acquire enough knowledge that we will know the face of God and we will bow down before him.  Ok.

But until that day, you can't beat it into me.  Until that day, you can't shame it into me, or deny it into me, or ostracize it into me, bomb it into me, starve it into me, rape it into me.  All these things:  violence, shame, degradation, in your parlance, are these not the tools of the devil?

Perhaps I, and people like me, have been put on this earth by God to test not us, but you.  Perhaps, if you had more faith, you would not fall to such base behaviours.  Have faith.  Be your best, greatest, most Godly self.  For your sake and the sake of all others.

Whoever happens to be 'right' (and you might be surprised to learn that I don't give a toss who is right or who is wrong), we all will have a more civilized, decent path to that knowledge.  It would be a good thing, a Godly thing.

A Scorpion is always a scorpion.

The Fords appear to be backing down from their extreme stances on political issues in Toronto.
http://www.theglobeandmail.com/news/national/toronto/marcus-gee/ford-forfeits-goal-to-control-port-lands-property/article2173838/

Despite being happy about this, I was uneasy.  And I couldn't think why.  What would bother me about Rob and Doug Ford acting like adults?

Then I was reminded of that old story about how a scorpion convinced another animal (I think it was a dog) to ferry him across a swift flowing river when both needed to get to the other side.  The dog demurred, afraid that the scorpion would harm him but the scorpion managed to earn the animal's trust and off they went.  Part the way across, the scorpion stung his ride.  The dog was surprised and amazed.

"Why would you sting me, when I am your only safe method for getting across the river? You have killed me and in so doing, will even kill yourself!"

The scorpion shrugged (if a scorpion can shrug) and said, "I cannot help it.  I am what I am."

Well, the Ford brothers have effected a massive change of heart over the last few days, to the point that they deny their previous stances on closing libraries or suggest they were just publicly brainstorming when they said they wanted to commandeer waterfront development.  Now, they are conciliatory.  Doug Ford even wants to sit on the Board of Waterfront Toronto.  In  the spirit of compromise, he says.  In the spirit of working together.   Don't worry, I would never sting you!  We both have to get across!

I wonder if we shouldn't remain doubly vigilant now that we are swimming with scorpions. Their backroom deals and bully boy politics may continue.  Why would they change?  Can anyone really change?

So, I am still planning to go to City Hall on September 26^th, at 5:30 pm to join the rally against cuts.  We can let the Fords know we are still watching and that that they cannot push us around. Or sting us for that matter.  Because, you know they will try.

So, Rob Ford, an environmentalist, and a priest walk into a bar....

Am I taking Rob Ford too seriously?  Are we all?

The longer he stays in office the more he makes me giggle.  I think he was that kid who didn't get to be cool because he wasn't sporty, or artsy, and, to make matters worse, he didn't get to go to the Ex every year.  Or maybe his parents said no to Disneyland.  So, now that he's Mayor of Toronto, he wants all he missed because he honestly thinks that we are all missing the same things:  ferris wheels, monorails, all the Big Macs you could eat ever, and more crap merchandise from Walmart.  Bliss.  Hiking and biking?  They're for weiners because weiners are thin.  We want big, big, bigger!  Fat, fatter, fattest!  And he's going to do it in four years.  Because wishes are rainbows!

But there might be a dark side to this immaturity.  He might have let his power go to his head and might not be making wise choices.  He might be in cahoots with these land developers for his own personal gain.  And since most of the talks about his new development plan occured behind doors, I just have this awful feeling Mr. Ford might have been a naughty, naughty boy.  Bad.  Bad Rob.  Go to your room. 

Well, he certainly has forgotten that he is but one voice on Council.  Clearly, a loud, berating, irritating voice, but still only one voice.  He thinks he is in charge.  Isn't that funny?

But, just because I think Ford is a joke doesn't mean we should ignore what he is trying to do.  Why don't we all let our City Councillors know that we think Ford's a joke? Or that Coney Island on the Lake is a joke?  Or that closing libraries and firing necessary staff is a joke? 

Or maybe, we could all get involved with rallies like this.  I think there's another one on September 26th at 5:30 pm at City Hall.  I'll be there.  I have some experience with bullies.  They don't scare me.  And, if we're supportive, maybe the other Councillors will have more courage with which to stand up to Ford and his brother.  I mean, the Ford boys are big boys with loud voices.  Very intimidating on the playground. 

And, it's likely that, previously, the City Councillors were following what they believed was a mandate from the people.  Ford can't cite this mandate anymore now that he's gone off to la la land.  Or Disneyand.  Or wherever it is he's gone.  So, why not write a quick note to your Councillor with a bit of support for keeping Toronto for grown ups?  How could it hurt?

And while you're pondering that, I got one for ya:   So, Rob Ford, an environmentalist, and a priest walk into a bar...

Your portlands or your life.

Rob Ford is only one vote on council.  Why is it that everything he proposes is getting passed?  Are the other councillors scared of him or something?

The latest is the complete turnaround on the portlands project, a truly visionary plan in its original inception - hiking trails, bike trails, green space, small retail and eateries, less-than-zero carbon footprint.  The bar on the plan is now well below sea-level with its big box malls, large chain stores and food outlets (you can't call them restaurants), and a ferris wheel.  Oh, and a monorail.  Nobody but Rob Ford, his brother, and their developer friends from (sniff) Australia want this.  Nobody.  And yet he is bragging that this huge development will be implemented and completed in record time.

Ford was not elected on the promise of raping the portlands.  He was elected on the promise of making the mega-city of Toronto's budget balance.

However, in this instance and in the example of the TransitCity debaucle, Mr. Ford ignored the recommendations of folks who know what they're talking about in favour of much more expensive options.  Much more.  Like maybe-we-wouldn't-have-to-close-libraries-or-fire-police-officers-if-we-went-for-the-cheaper-option more expensive.

And all this money goes into the hands of the developers.  Sure, jobs will be created.  Crappy, horrible McJobs will be created.  And sure, tourists will be attracted.  Irritating tourists (the kind who like Disneyland and food outlets) will be attracted.  It probably won't be the TIFF crowd.

Who could possibly want this for Toronto who loves Toronto?

I think Rob Ford has managed to intimidate council.  I wonder how he's done it?   I am sure he didn't mug each councillor in the middle of the night, nylons on his head, gun pressed firmly in the back of the councillor's head, rasping in a low voice:  "Your portlands or your life!"  I am sure he hasn't run around getting the dirt on all the councillors with which he is secretly black-mailing them all.  He's no Tony Soprano.  Despite his support of privatising garbage removal.  Or wait....  Nah, he's not that bright.

Hang on.  His brother is.

Mama love.

Anybody watched television lately?  I know a lot of you don't and hats off to you.  I have been struggling with whether we should get rid of the thing for ages.  My biggest complaint is not necessarily that much of what is presented as entertainment is truly boring but that commercials are so focused on making one feel inadequate (are my teeth bright enough? is my house clean enough?).  It's got to rub off over time.  It's got to wear you down.  And the only way we'll buy their crappy, unnecessary products is if we are needy.  So, so.

However, just recently, I have been noticing a trend toward treating mommy nicely.  Mommy Days and Mommy Appreciation and isn't mommy the BEST EVER.  Sounds nice, huh?

It's not.  It's so not.  It's actually a step backward.  The deification of the mother goes hand in hand with dumping on her.  Back in the day when women stayed at home and men went out to work, Mommy was a Saint but, also, at the absolute bottom of the pecking order.  Her status as martyr (and who really wants that?) was her only reward.  And this is, apparently, is what we're going back to despite some great strides forward. 

Women still tend to get paid less for a full day's work, then come home and do the lion's share of the work around the house.  No wonder all those irritating and insulting cleaning product ads are directed at women.  The only positive thing these ads do is inspire debate and discussion in our house.  Why, oh why, are these ads NOT directed at least half the time at men? Well, women are, on average, doing 70% of the housework.  I know lots of families in which this is not true.  Lots.  But 70% is a national figure and anecdotal evidence cannot apply. 

But it brings us back to the television.  Cleaning product ads are directed at women because women are currently in charge of most of the household chores whether they are working or not.   We may or may not want that statistic to change but the messages we are getting dozens of times a night every night is that women do the housework and they are saints for it.  Huh?  If that is sainthood, you can keep it.

Companies selling cleaning products do not care about social righteousness nor fairness.  They do not care if we move forward as a culture.  Or that we are trying to create a society in which all folks are sharing the load and have a chance to work at what they do best.  Nope.  They want to sell disposable dusters (those aren't cheap, by the way!).  That's all they care about is selling disposable dusters. And they are going to try to appeal to the largest percentage of folks who do the cleaning in order to sell lots and lots of dusters.  They care about the 70%.

We let advertising dominate our livingrooms every day, our precious family time.  Our televisions, the modern day campfire.  But stories told around campfires used to be entertaining and often edifying, often helping us imagine a better way to live.  Television ads cannot tell us where we are going; what we are capable of; it cannot support our goals and aspirations.  Television can only reflect back to us what we are because somebody has analysed the data as has built a whole marketing campaign around it.  

And these messages and images are shaping the ideas, feelings, and opinions of a generation coming forward.  Adveritising messages are the ones that get repeated over and over and over.  These are the messages that are driven home.  The ideas in the shows are secondary, really, to the irritating ads that tell us the same thing over and over and over again.  I wouldn't be surprised if the next generation is more sexist than this one.  Not surprised at all.  And on all the other issues?  Over materialism, too many cars...?   I expect a lot of that will get worse.  Because, as everybody knows, we are not perfect beings.  What we see over and over and over again, we start to repeat.  We start to think it.

I am happy to report that, in our family, we all muck in on cleaning day.  And I am hoping that my husband's example will, eventually, be a stronger example than all the advertising in the world for my sweet daughter.    But it doesn't clear up my basic feeling that advertising execs should stop deifying me and pick up a bloody broom.  Or a disposable duster, for that matter.

And the tide goes out.

Today, this deep water in which I've been swimming for the whole summer disappears in a rush as all the institutionlized schoolers start their school year.  It's nice.  I'll be able to breath more easily.  The museums will be empty, the beaches and playgrounds clear of packs of little kids all wearing the same design and colour  shirt.  I call the early fall Second Summers.  In fact, this year, I have organized a beach party in celebration, not even pretending that I am organizing an event that is 'good' for the kids.  I am doing it this year because I feel so lucky to have this freedom.

Okay, I hear you.  My joy in freedom is no good reason to home school my daughter!!  Of course.  Well, to justify my choices:  Home schooling reason, number 4,382.  A body of research has been published over the last ten years that states the teenage brain is hardwired differently to the child or the adult brain.   Instead of doing its best learning in the morning as children do, it soaks up the most information better in the evening.  The latest in these studies suggests that teens who start their day even one hour later do significantly better than teens who are forced out of bed and into school by nine.  Which suggests that teens are cranky and a pain and making poor choices because they are not getting enough sleep.  But, also, this research is further evidence that humans likely do not thrive in institutionalized systems; though they do learn to do what they're told.

Ironically, if parents give up home schooling for institutionalized schooling, they do so as the child enters her teenage years (probably because of the belief that she needs more freedom to fully individuate).  Happily, most of these parents choose alternative schools that work under a core hour or core attendance model (could be as little as one day in ten) that allows their kids the semblance of freedom and the opportunity to sleep in most days.

So, so.  The home schooling community contracts and, then, expands over the summer.  A lot of older kids disappear and a lot of younger ones pop up with bright, shiny faces.  Sadly, we are losing a lot of familiar faces this year.  I am understanding, now, why teenage home schoolers are very much in the minority.   They drop like flies in a snowstorm around the age of thirteen.  Whoosh.  The tide goes out.  Could be us, too, in the next few years.  You never know.  We are not quite at that place, yet.

So here we will be standing, on the newly revealed beach, ready to build our castles this year.  Even though there are fewer of us, I think it will still be fun. 

The Steps

Having Rob Ford as you mayor is almost like moving in with your step-family.  In my case, very much like moving in with my stepfamily with the huge exception that, for the most part, my steps are congenial, well-read, nice folks.  The situation was similar, however, in that I was unundated in a very short time by a lot of people who didn't think the way I did.  At all.  And, yet, here we are.  Related.  Living together.  Yikes.  You can guess that this lasted for only a few months.

Now, I am by no means a perfect person but core values mean a lot to me.  I am not one to move out to the burbs so that I can have a bigger life.  Bigger house, bigger yard, bigger walk-in closet.  Well, any walk-in closet for that matter.  However, my steps believe in the good life.  The big house, the big back yard, the pool, the three or four cars in the great, big driveway.  Double income, four kids.  Damn the carbon footprint and off they go. Now, don't me wrong, I like most of my steps.  Really do.  I just don't want to live with them.  I don't want to live the way they do.

Most people in the suburbs are nice - Rob Ford isn't one of those nice people - and I think that they should live whatever life they choose as long as they don't expect me to go along with them.   Let the steps live any life they choose.  I really don't want half of our libraries, pools, and parks closed.  I don't want big box shopping malls everywhere. 

I want a smaller carbon footprint.  I want bike trails and hiking trails.  I want small eateries and shops -- not chains and name brands.  I want the problem of the flooding of the Don dealt with.  I want libraries and lots of transit and reasonable accountantability.  I want open, public consultations.  Public input.  Professional input.  Not just commercial input.  I want to work a vision that thinks not about tomorrow but about our children's children.  I think quite a few folks who live in downtown Toronto feel the same way.

In short, I think it's time that Toronto moved out on the steps.

Wanting what we already have.

In this overindulgent, selfish world, many of us cannot see what is already in front of us and Rob Ford is no exception. 

Mr. Ford is pushing to turn the Toronto docklands into a developer's dream of malls and hotels and amusement parks.  But we already have a bunch of those on the water in Toronto right now.  We have Ontario Place -- in which we aleady have amusement park rides and an IMAX theatre.  Right on the water.  We already have the Eaton's Centre, right in the heart of the city.  For that matter, if one wanted to develop a permanent amusement park, why not do it on the site of the Exhibition, a blank tarmac that sits empty most of the year?

What don't we have, though?  What don't many world class cities have?  What about a livable green space with great restaurants and clubs right on the water.  What about hiking trails --- hiking trails!!?!! --- right in the heart of the city.  A low carbon footprint.  Parks, beaches....

It would be an exceptional space.  What space in cities will - must - become if we are to survive.  A space in which we invest in our humanity, not in a new pair of sneakers that we never use.  Not just another mall.